Game of Thrones Recap: The North Remembers

Game of Thrones is back and I could not be happier.

We begin with a knightly display, where the Dog is the victor, and Sansa treads carefully by Joffery’s side. This gladiator display is to celebrate Joffery’s name day. And even when he appears generous,  he’s generosity is steeped with cruelty, because lets face it the kid has always been a selfish prick, and putting a crown on his head has only made him worse. Sansa’s quick thinking saves Sir Dauntus. Tyrion remarks on Joffery’s lack of showing on the battlefield. Joffery seems a little upset that the news of Tyrion’s death was overstated, because Tyrion is very much alive and spunky. He gives his condolences to Sansa, and Sansa gives the crappy spiel about her traitorous family that is keeping her alive.

News comes that summer is truly over, as they say eventually the Starks are always right, and now winter is truly coming. Tyrion’s next stop is with Cersei, and the Queen mother is no less happy to see him, and he gives her a bit of news. He is the hand of the King, and with that Cersei dismisses the counsel, she’s obviously overjoyed to have one brother close to her, or she should be cause Tyrion is smart. The death of Ned Stark has great and lasting consequences, and the Lannisters are not well liked, but Tyrion has a great plan, though Cersei’s carelessness has greatly diminished their bargaining chips. Ned was beheaded during her watch, and Aria has escaped, which only leaves Sansa as their final means to make a bargain with the Starks.

Bran is lord at Winterfell, with his brother Rob off making war, and he’s forced to listen to old men go on and on about the war, and he’s less than pleased. A direwolf runs through the woods, and Bran sees through its eyes. When he’s on Hodor’s back, he goes to the spot he saw in the wolf’s eyes. He looks at the comet, and believes it’s a good omen for Rob, Osha says that it can mean many things, but it always points to dragons, but he’s not ready to believe that yet. Poor foolish child, Dany is coming and she’s bringing dragons.

Daenerys tries to feed one of her dragons, but it won’t eat. Her brother knew little about dragons, and he isn’t there to even tell her his fables. She’s on her own. The beautiful white horse that Drogo gave to her on their wedding day falls over dead. She’s quickly running out of options. Her people are too weak to fight off those who would take her dragons, but still on they must keep going. She sends out riders to find a city, to find someplace for her people.

In the North, Snow and the others come across an inbred community of wildlings. This is the first town they’ve come across that isn’t abandoned. An army is being gathered to take over the kingdoms, and it already outnumbers any they have.

Melisandre prays to her god on a well lit beach. They’ve lit a fire the seven gods of the kingdoms, Melisandre taunts him, but no one will stand against the red priestess. She’s in Stannis Baratheon’s employ, and she has him draw a sword from the fire. Stannis is leading his people into a war his advisor’s know that he cannot win, but none are willing to tell him, not even Davos. Stannis has drawn up a damning and truthful claim against the throne. Stannis plans to do what Ned Stark failed to do and shine lights upon Cersei and Jamie’s incestuous relations. Not only does Stannis make his bold statements, he also does not plan to make any allegiances. His greatest opposition to this plan dies at the feet of the red priestess.

Rob checks in on his dirty sexy prisoner, Jaime Lannister.  Jaime’s sharp tongue is nothing in his favor, and he becomes a little uneasy when Rob’s direwolf comes to his side. Rob reveals the truth’s that Stannis has revealed, and the puzzle pieces that have clicked into place, and Rob’s a little too confident for only having won three battles.

Tyrion’s friend, Shae is loving the city a little too much, but Tyrion warns her of the viper’s nest that surrounds them.  

Cersei goes to Lord Balesh for a favor, she wants help finding Aria. Balesh makes snide remarks about Cersei’s family, and she has him seized, and flexes her power. She doesn’t dance around her desires, she wants Aria and she wants her now. Silly Balesh, I always thought he was smarter than to taunt the queen like that.

Rob makes his demands on the Lannisters. He wants his sisters, his father’s remains, and the remains of all those who have died, as well as the Lannisters to release all claims upon the North. Rob delivers his terms, offering peace, but is more than willing to make the streets flow with blood if he has to. Theron tells him that Kings Landing must be taken to win the war, and that means that they must enlist Balon GreyJoy, Theron’s father. Theron may not be a Stark, but he has been with Ned’s family for most of his life. He was given to the Starks to ensure Greyjoy’s good behavior, but Theron has always been treated well, and he’s willing to go ask his father for help.

Catelyn Stark does not want to trust GreyJoy, but Rob sees no other choice, especially not if he wants his sisters safe. But he’s also smart enough to know that he cannot win a war just to save his sisters, that it is not enough of a cause to sacrifice so many lives. Rob plans to send his mother to negotiate with Renly, and though at first she protests, she sees the light to his plan, he is after more than just revenge.

Cersei finds Joffery remodeling the throne room. He has no tact, no idea of strategy and Cersei talks to the dolt. With how manipulative and crafty she is you’d think that even a smidge would have rubbed off on him, but no. Instead, he’s a petulant foot stomping child. Joffery thinks that the incestuous claims are pure gossip, but his insensitive questioning angers Cersei, and she forgets herself for a moment. His mother slaps him, as she should because he’s being an arrogant prick, and he threatens her with death. She’s created quite the monster, and has no one to blame but herself.

The head whore in Lord Balesh’s whorehouse gives the new girl a tour around the place. The whorehouse gets a good tossing, and mother and child are brought out, they kill one of the king’s latest bastard son, and a rightful heir. Throughout the kingdom there’s a bastard cleansing, all the true bastards of the kings are being hunted down, and disposed of. But Gendry, the blacksmith bastard Ned located last season is with Aria, and they’re headed North.