The Cabin In The Woods Review and New Clip: Split Up

You’ve seen the archetype scary movie before five friends go to a remote cabin in the woods. Bad things happen. It’s a tried and true formula, heck it’s one of the movie’s tag line, and this movie not only works with what it has, it emulates the perfect horror movie.

If you think you know this story, think again. From fan favorites Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard comes The Cabin in the Woods, a mind blowing horror film that turns the genre inside out. Very few movies in recent years have lived up to the hype. This isn’t your normal slasher porn, it’s smart, it’s funny, it will shock you and it will all be done in a very brilliant way.

Joss Whedon has been surprising people for years with his clever writing, and Drew Goddard has been devising complicated twists that shock and delight audiences, but together, the two masterminds have put together a nearly flawless love letter to great horror movies, an intelligent homage that not only delivers the gore, but keeps the audience guessing almost to the very last minute.

 Cabin In The Woods is really a story within a story. It opens with the all knowing scientists, headed up by Sitterson (Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford). Amy Acker is Lin, a chemist in a white coat, but she plays a much smaller part than the other two. All of them are a part of a network of programs worldwide. The other programs throughout the world have failed, and theirs is the last hope. But hope for what? That’s one of the things you’ll have to figure out.

Cut to the college kids, you have all the basics, Jules the whore (Anna Hutchinson), Curt the alpha male jock (Chris Helmsworth), Dana the virginal one (Kristen Connelly), Holden the Smart new guy (Jesse Williams), and Marty the Stoner no one takes seriously but consistently hits the nail on the head with his conspiracy theories (Fran Kranz). They’re headed up to a cousin’s new cabin, and away we begin.

I need to pause here for a moment, before I go on to note the awesomeness of Marty’s bong. I don’t smoke pot, but the thing is absolutely amazing and genius. Seriously, its like a three foot bong that collapses into a normal looking stainless steel travel mug. It almost makes me wish I smoked pot just so I could own one.

Okay back to the story. Enter the creepy gas station, and even creepier dirty Mordcai. Where do these gas stations exist? Seriously I need a map of gas stations to avoid, because hillybilly hell is one of my worst nightmares, that and clowns and sometimes unicorns. But he’s straight eerie and dirty and something you’d see in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Between the tobacco spitting and animals in jars, I was fairly grossed out, but in classic horror movie style the kids don’t heed the warnings, and off they go to the cabin.

As they arrive there, it’s all as it should be, , the lake is beautiful, the cabin slightly Evil Dead looking, but nothing overly ominous  right up until the sun goes down and then the show really begins. I’m not going to ruin the twists and turns of the story, but there’s much more that’s going on than meets the eye. And while much is rigged to get the desired results, not even the best contingency plan can cover every scenario, but like every good scary movie there are rules, and they must be abided by.

The Cabin in the Woods really knows how to set a scene, injecting the right amount of humor without being too campy, gore without being ridiculous, and plot devices without being too hard to follow. For those disappointed with most horror movies, figuring out the end game long before the final act, The Cabin in the Woods will delightfully surprise you. And if you’re like me, and really hate to be teased by the big bads who barely make a cameo, don’t fear you get to see enough freaks in action to satisfy your wicked soul.

The Cabin In The Woods is Rated R for strong bloody horror violence and gore, language, drug use and some sexuality/nudity. It opens April 13, 2012.

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