Bad Education S1E2 - "Sex Education" Recap

Alfie vandalises a bathroom stall in the ladies' room while Joe stands guard. Joe warns him that Pickwell is coming so they hide in a stall. Joe accidentally bangs the wall but Alfie gets him to make a high-pitched noise to cover for them. Pickwell sees the vandalisation: "Pickwells got a wang" and calls it pathetic before using a marker to add the missing apostrophe.

They encounter Grayson in the hallway, who snaps a photo of them leaving the ladies' room. He agrees to do so if they do him a favour, so Alfie buys him a bottle of booze. Abbey Grove is preparing for a French exchange and the parents have come to express their concerns. The previous year, Jean Claude the exchange student had wreaked some sexual havoc. Rosie proposes that they teach some classes on sex education.

Each teacher teaches their pupils in their own way, with Rosie teaching a thorough curriculum, Alfie remaining clueless about how to teach it, Mrs. Mollinson shows a video of dogs having sex, and Pickwell reads passages from the Bible. Joe is unhappy, saying he doesn't want to go to France.

Alfie does some research on how to better teach the information on sex education when Rosie comes in and tells him he should examine his own body and know it well. Fraser becomes embarrassed when the librarian hands him a book on premature ejaculation that he had asked her to order off of Amazon.

Alfie tells his class he needs one of them to pretend to be gay to make him look like a teacher whose sex-ed class inspired a student to come out. He asks Joe to do it, saying he'll get him out of going to France if he does so.

The bus with the French exchange students arrive but the teachers then realise that the students are coming from Holland and Fraser messed up the name of the town, despite his being a geography teacher. The large majority of them end up being attractive blondes, with even Rosie looking charmed by their appeal.

Alfie approaches Fraser to tell him he can't go to Holland. He claims that his struggling with his sexuality will be a bad combination with the marijuana and Red Light district of the country. Fraser says he needs to find another pupil, and Alfie claims that Grayson (the school bully) is interested in the culture. Alfie gloats to Grayson that he will be going to the farm in Holland.

Students and parents have gathered around to hear about the school's sex education classes. Alfie comes in and begins rambling about getting to know his penis before asking students to share, honing in on Joe. Joe backs out and then an attractive Dutch student declares that sex is about enjoying oneself. Things get out of control, with people asking what a "glitorish" is. Joe is pressured to come out as gay but he becomes angry and takes it back, saying "Alfie made me be gay before him." Things continue to escalate, with people beginning to ask Alfie about his last sexual experience and eventually he admits he has never had sex. He had a long-term girlfriend, wanted to save himself, and then it never happened. Both Rosie and Chantel look charmed by his admission.

Afterwards, Rosie commends him for helping the students to understand that it's good not to rush things. Fraser tells him people are demanding he be fired but there is a solution that will allow him to get away for a while without having to actually lose his job. Alfie is sent to Holland and ends up next to Grayson on the coach.

Bad Education airs on Tuesdays on BBC Three.