Bad Education S1E1 - "Parents' Evening" Recap

Alfie Vickers arrives to his class hungover and one of his pupils Joe, is teased by his peers when he accidentally calls Alfie "dad." He also fends off another pass from Chantel, another of his pupils. Headmistress Pickwell comes in and asks for his mock exams' papers. She summons him to her office and tells him he needs to give her the results before Parents' Evening. He says he has all the answers in his head and when she begins listing names, he answers "A" to each. She tells him off and warns him he is skating on very thin ice. If he doesn't turn in the papers by 5, they will all fail.

Alfie puts his post into Rosie Gulliver's post hole so he'll talk to her. Rose is the school's biology teacher, whom Alfie also fancies. Alfie tries to put the moves on her and she's not interested in it since her boyfriend just broke up with her. She tells him she doesn't want to date at the moment and would rather throw herself into her job and charity work.

Alfie announces to his class that they will be playing "Class Wars" to learn about Pearl Harbour. He also is forced to tell them that they'll likely all fail their mock exams. School bully Frank Grayson encounters Alfie in the hallway and steals his trainers. Following the theft, Alfie is pulled into Simon Fraser's office. Fraser is the Headmaster at Abbey Grove and tells Alfie that he fancies Rosie. He wants Alfie to be his wingman and coach him on how to get Rosie to go on a date with him. Alfie tells him he should completely ignore her because "womyn love that."

Alfie tries to ask Rosie out again but she tells him he isn't mature enough for her. His moping in class leads his pupils to tell him off and get over it. He then decides to have them all grade each other's mock exams, suing the "pass to the left" method.

Rosie wants to give a speech at Parents' Evening on Palmer's syndrome and Alfie pretends to know about the condition to impress Rosie. He also claims that Joe's mother suffers from the condition.Fraser is annoyed at first, thinking Alfie is trying to cockblock him, but Alfie claims he is only trying to demonstrate how unsuitable of a match he is in comparison to him.

Rosie comes to visit Alfie's class and he has Joe hide in the cupboard before she comes in. She wants to get Joe's mum involved in the campaign and asks to speak to him but Alfie claims that he is sick. After she leaves, Alfie asks Joe to pretend that his mum has a potentially fatal disease so Rosie will go on a date with him and the kind-hearted Joe agrees to do so.

Headmistress Pickwell tells Alfie all his students have failed their mock exams because they graded each others' papers instead of him. During Parents' Evening, Alfie delivers this news to Chantel's mum, who attempts to give him a happy ending with her foot under the table. Pickwell comes over to taunt Alfie about his students' failures. He insists that his students have other talents and begins listing bizarre factoids about them before saying he believes in them.

Joe tells Alfie he thinks the lie has gotten out of control and he accidentally told her that his mum is dead. Fraser calls Rosie up to talk about Palmer's syndrome and she begins her speech, eventually transitioning into talking about Joe's mum, Emma Poulter. Mrs. Poulter then comes forward and identifies herself, very much alive and free from the syndrome.

Mistress Pickwell tries to pull Alfie into her office but Joe steps up and says it's his fault and that he just wanted to show off to him, saying he's the dad he never had. It's then that Joe's real dad comes forward and questions that sentiment and the attempt to smooth things over fall on its face.

Joe comforts Alfie later by offering to shove dog excrements with him into Pickwell's mail slot.

Bad Education airs on Tuesdays on BBC Three.