Game of Thrones Recap: Blackwater

War is finally upon us. Stannis’ fleet sails to King’s Landing, but it’s a rough journey. The tide is against them, though the wind is with them. Davos seems less than enthusiastic about this war, though his son has full faith. Davos tells him that the walls have never been breached, but his son doesn’t sway in his faith.

Tyrion spends his final hours before the war in bed with Shae. She fiercely vows to protect him, but he doesn’t wish her to. He’s stuck in this war no matter the outcome, but Shae will not be persuaded. She makes tender love to him, like it’s their last day.

The Maester speaks with Cersei, but she hurries him to his point. He gives her some Nightshade, a calming potion, that can easily turn deadly. She takes it from him, and sends him away.

The men of King’s Landing feast. Bronn indulges in song and whores. The Hound enters, and he’s just as chipper as usual. The Hound seems more merry than normal. He tells Bronn that “killing is the thing you love, just like me, only smaller.” And just as things are about to turn bad between the men, the bells of war sound.

Tyrion gets into his armor, and Varys questions his trust in the boy who is assisting before he shows him a detailed map. Varys gives him news on Stannis and his taking up with the Red Priestess. Varys has seen too much, and he believes what Tyrion does not. He thinks that Stannis taking the throne would be the worse thing possible, and that the only person that can stop him is Tyrion.

With their imminent arrival known, Stannis’ men begin to drum,  and speed up their arrival.

Tyrion and Bronn discuss their friendship, and he spots Sansa and Shae. Sansa hasn’t gone to safety yet because Joffery has asked for Sansa to see him off. Joffery shows Sansa his new sword hearteater. They spar with words, and Sansa’s distaste for him is ever at the surface. Shae tells her that many of the men will not come back, but Sansa knows that the worse always survive.

Joffery tries to flex his power stupidly, as if he flexes it any other way, and Tyrion again put the boy in his place.

Cersei gathers with the other women. Sansa wonders why Cersei wishes her there, if she hates her. Shae tells Sansa that she’s likely jealous, when Cersei calls to her. Cersei offers her a glass of wine, but Sansa tries to refuse it.  Cersei gets news of the first betrayal, and Cersei gives swift orders to have their heads mounted to instill fear upon the common folk.

Stannis’ archers get in place. Tyrion’s men hold fast, and Joffery wonders where the rest of his ships are. Stannis’ nmen wonder the same. The ship looks to be empty. The Alchemist passes a flame to Tyrion, and Davos sees the wildfire. A single archer shoots his arrow, and ignites the wildfire. Boom, the fleet is ingulfed him flame, and everything is a light all bewitching green. The men at King’s Landing watch the sailors burn in shock, only the Alchemist smiles at the destruction. Stannis orders his remaining ships forward intent on winning.

Cersei calls Sansa over again. She’s quite peckish. She asks her what she’s doing. Sansa tells her that she is praying, praying that everyone will be okay. Cersei calls her foolish and stupid, and tries again to make her drink wine. She forces the girl to drink. She tells Sansa that she wishes she were borne a man, the waiting does not sit well on her. She tells her that women have more weapons that just tears, and that if the city falls the men will ravage them.

Joffery nearly wets himself seeing that the remaining men are still coming. His craven colors are showing, but Tyrion, gives his commands, and plans to slaughter all who approach. The men of King’s Landing rain arrows upon Stannis’ men, and still they come. The Hound leads his men out for some hand to hand. Lancel takes an arrow to the chest.

Cersei talks about her childhood, how she and Jaime looked so much alike as children, she could not understand why she was treated differently. Jaime got to become a knight, and she was sold off to Robert. Sansa tells her that she was a Queen, but sold she was all the same Cersei says. Cersei spots Shae and begins to grill her when Lancel comes in with news. Cersei tells him to bring Joffery back. Finally she reveal why her bodyguard is really there to Sansa, “Stannis may take the city, he may take the throne but he will not take us alive.”

The fighting intensifies around the Hound. And as he stares into the flames, he’s forced to fall back into the keep. Tyrion wishes for the Hound to go back out, but the Hound refuses, he’s lost half his men. Joffery throws a little tantrum, and Tyrion points out that they will lose the city if he does not fight. But the Hound has a very Fuck everything attitude.

Stannis’s men begin to ram the gate. Lancel comes to collect Joffery, and Tyrion bids him to stay. If he will not fight for his kingdom, why should his men. But Joffery is a craven to his core, and he sends his men out to die in his place as he runs to his mother. Tyrion sees what he must do, he will lead the attack against Stannis. His men begin to draw away, but Tyrion is ready for a plan. He tells them quite a pep talk. There is no reason to fight for kings, kingdoms or riches, only what is already theirs. The men rally, and follow Tyrion. Lancel gives bad news, and Lancel wishes to escort Joffery back to the castle. Cersei strikes him, and the women go into a panic. Sansa immediately calms the women, and Shae hurries her away, telling her that Stannis will not hurt her.

Sansa finds the doll that her father once gave her, and the Hound lurking in the dark. He tells her that he is going some place that isn’t burning, and offers to keep her safe and return her home. She tells him that she’ll be safe here, that Stannis won’t hurt her. The Hound tries to talk sense into her, and tells her that she’s surrounded by killers. She knows he will not hurt her, and he agrees, leaving her.

Tyrion and his men take the field, and annihilate the enemy, or so they think, until the second string come charging in. Tyrion is injured in the battle.

Cersei tells Tommen a story on the Iron Throne, a tale of good lions and evil stags and wolves. The battle rages on outside. As her story goes on, she toys with the Nightshade, giving it to him. But before Tommen can drink it, a slew of men arrive. Tyrion lays upon the battlefield. Tywinn has arrived, and she drops the Nightshade. The battle is over, they have won.