It’s the finale already, and I’m just not sure anyone is ready for this. There is so much aftermath to be dealt with still, Tyrion and the battle at the wall are certainly on top! Let’s begin with the last look at that awesome map. It'll be a bit different the next time we see it, with more of the south added.

Jon Snow marches out beyond the wall. Jon allows the wildlings to surround him, raising his hands in surrender as he goes to speak with Mance. They notice he’s wearing a black cloak again, and in his best batman voice he tells Mance that he’s come to negotiate with them. It’s a disappointment that he’s a crow once more, Mance tells him. He was always loyal to the night’s watch, Jon explains, he did what half-hand told him too. Mance asks about Ygritte, if he was enough to turn her, he wasn’t. Jon tells Mance that she put three arrows into him when he left, and she died. They drink to her. Mance is impressed with the crow’s efforts, they speak of their fallen, Mance’s Giant, and Jon’s friend Grenn, and drink to them. Jon tells Mance to go back, to stop this war. Mance knows that Jon doesn’t have nearly as many men as he’s boasting to have. Mance is completely honest with Jon. They aren’t there to conquerer, but to hide behind it. Winter is coming. Mance offers him his own bargain. Jon can return and open the gates, and there will be no bloodshed, or Mance can come and kill every last one of them. Mance figures out that Jon came to kill Mance. He wonders if Jon is capable of the deed after he just offered Jon peace. A horn is sounded, it isn’t the crows though, they don’t have enough men. A large force heads towards the wildlings, they come from both sides, and slaughter the group. Mance can only watch in shock as his men fall around him. He orders them to stand down, his people have bled enough. Leading the group is Stannis Baratheon. Well, surprise, surprise, he finally shows up. Mance throws his weapons to the ground before Stannis, and Stannis makes his introduction. Stannis wishes Mance to kneel, but wildlings do not kneel. Mance and his men are taken away. Davos asks what the Night’s Watch is doing in a Wildling camp, and Jon tells him he came to discuss terms with the King Beyond the Wall. Davos reminds Jon that he is speaking to the one true king. Jon addresses Stannis, and introduces himself properly. Stannis knows that his father Ned was an honorable man, and asks what he should do with Mance. Mance took Jon prisoner once, and he treated him well, he suggests that he take Mance prisoner, and listen to what he has to say. Stannis agrees with Jon. Jon has one further suggestion, to burn the dead, all of them.

The Maester looks over the Mountain’s wounds, he’s been poisoned by the Viper’s blade. He’s been poisoned by the venom of the Manticor, they don’t know a whole lot about the venom. The Maester thinks that the Mountain is too far gone, but his assistant has other thoughts. He isn’t a Maester, grand or otherwise. Cersei dismisses the Grand Maester, and allows his assistant to do what he can to save the Mountain. He warns that the process may change him. It will not weaken him, so Cersei is on board.

Cersei goes to see her father about her betrothal. She does not wish to marry Loras, but he is adamant that she will. Her role in the future of the Lannister’s is pivotal, now more than ever. Jaime cannot inherit land, Tyrion is about to die, so Cersei is all they have left. Cersei doesn’t want to listen to anymore of Tywin’s tales of times he’s won. When he came to the rescue them at the Battle of Blackwater, she was about to kill Tommen, to ensure he didn’t suffer a worse fate. She is willing to go the distance for her family, but she will not let outside forces tear them down. She knows that Marery will do just that, that she and Tywin will tear apart Tommen for control. She warns Tywin, that if she is forced to, she will out her own secret, that her children are products of incest. Her father never believed the rumors, he was too consumed by the idea of them without actually seeing them. Tywin claims to not believe, but Cersei knows that he does as she smugly walks away.

Cersei goes to see her next victim. She goes to see Jaime. He asks if she’s happy about her latest victory, telling her that she doesn’t get to chose her family. Cersei thinks that she does. She still hold a grudge towards Tyrion, blaming him for his birth, and their mother’s subsequent death, so she is very happy with the outcome. But she’s come to tell Jaime that she chooses him. Jaime cannot believe his ears. She kisses him and tells him that she told their father. She doesn’t want to speak of Tywin anymore. She knows that people will talk, but she no longer cares, and Jaime takes her on the table.

Daenerys has quite the impressive number of titles now as she is announced to Fennesz, a former slave and tutor. He taught the children of his master many things of history, including her own. He tells her that when she took the city, the children begged him not to leave, but he and his master thought it best if he did. Since then he has been homeless. The Khalessi has provided barracks and mess halls for those freed, but it is not for him. The young pray on the old. Dany vows for the unsully to make them safe, but that is not what he wants. Even if they are safe, then he still has no place, he wishes to be sold back to his master. Dany cannot understand how he would want to be owned by a goat. Fennesz thinks her rule is good for the young, but for the old, it is too much change. She did not take the city to force them into anything more than freedom. She tells him he is allowed to sign a contract, for no more than a year. Fennesz thanks her. Barristan tells her that the masters will take advantage of this, they will use her mercy to enslave the people once more. Another man approaches with a bundle in his arms, she allows him to approach. He does not understand her words, Missandei translates for him. He tells his queen that the black one came from the sky. He opens up the bundle, it is the charred bones of his three year old daughter. Drogon has not been spotted since. She tells Grey Worm to meet her in the catacombs. Dany brings her two other dragons below to the catacombs. Like obedient children they head below, and they find the meat that has been planted for them, but they do not see the danger as they eat. Chains have been prepared for them. As they feast, Dany chains her children. With the collars in place she walks away, and only then do they see what has happened. They see their mother leave them, and they squall like toddlers. Dany closes them inside. That has to be the biggest mistake yet.

Maester Aemon survived the battle on the wall. He says a few words over the fallen brothers. Their watch has ended. He prepares the funeral pyres. Jon is among those watching, as well as Stannis and his men. All of the bodies are burned. Melisandre looks at Jon through the fires. Tormund asks why their blind man patched him up.  Jon tells him that it is the Maester’s job to patch up all men, friend or foe. Tormund wonders what his fate will be, presumably torture before death. He will not be tortured, but Jon does not know what will be done in truth. Tormund asks if he is king, but Jon says that they have no king on the wall. He has been a wildling too long Tormund muses, he will not be a kneeler again. Jon tells him that they will burn their dead, and asks if they have any words, but the dead cannot hear, so they have no words. Tormund asks if Jon loved Ygritte, because she loved him. She never spoke the words, only those of wanting to kill him, and that said it more than anything else. He tells him that she belongs in the North, the real North. Jon understands him. He takes Ygritte’s body out in the woods, and builds a proper burial pyre for her, and he lets her go.

Hodor, Jojen, Meera, and Bran press ahead through the snow. Meera asks if he would like to rest, scared that they aren’t going to make it, but they already have. On the top of the next hill lies a great Godwood. The sun shines beautifully upon it. The small group is nearly there, when something grabs Jojen from beneath the snow. Meera makes a leap towards him, trying desperately to save him from the skeletal hands that hold him. Hodor panicks, and Bran tells him to help them. Meera manages to free Jojen, but the skeletons rise all around them. Meera fights them off, one crawls up Bran’s body, but Summer takes care of it. Hodor is overwhelmed, and Bran finally wargs and takes him over. Hodor throws off his two, and helps Meera with the rest. Jojen calls out to Bran to save himself, as more of the skeletons rise from behind him. Meera and Hodor destroy all save for one, which viciously stabs Jojen in the gut repeatedly. The pair of skeletons coming towards Bran are blasted by some sort of lightening balls. And a girlish figure calls to Bran and the others to come with her, or perish along with Jojen. Meera hesitates, but Jojen tells her to leave him. She slits his throat mercifully as more of the skeletons rise. Hodor grabs Bran and they follow the being to safety. Jojen’s body is blasted, as they run to the safety of the cave beneath the tree. Only a little further and they would have all lived, The skeletons cannot follow. The beings were called the Children by the first men, but they are much older than that, and she beckons them to follow her. “He” awaits them. Hodor is hesitant, he lies Bran down upon the floor before a large throne. Bran crawls his way forward. It is the three eyed raven, but now it is a man. Jojen knew what would happen if he brought them here, he knew from the start and still he brought them. Bran has come to him at last, though the hour is late. Jojen died so Bran could find what he had lost. He will never walk again, but he will fly.

Brienne and Podrick wake to find their horses gone. Podrick thinks it may have been thieves. Brienne is not pleased at all, its still thirty miles to the Eyrie. She crests a hill and spots Arya practicing with Needle. She warns the Hound that his business can wait, that there are people coming. Brienne asks if they are close to the gate, and it’s only ten more miles. Arya asks if she’s a knight, she is not, but she knows how to use the sword. Ayra asks for the swords name. She asks who taught her to fight. Her father did, and although he didn’t want to teach her to fight either, Brienne kept fighting the boys and losing, so he finally taught her. Brienne greets the Hound. Podrick recognizes him instantly, and once she hears his name, she recognizes Arya. She tells Arya that she swore to her mother that she would bring her home. Arya asks her why she didn’t save her mother. She was tasked with taking Jaime back to Kings Landing. The Hound thinks that Brienne has come for the bounty on his head. She hasn’t, but she’s still carries Lannister gold. Brienne tells them the sword came from Jaime, which does nothing to quell the Hound’s fears. Brienne speaks of her vows, but Arya doesn’t care about her vows. The Hound makes it clear that Arya is not coming with her. Brienne tries to appeal to her again. The Hound tells her that there is no safety, and if she doesn’t know that by now then she’s the wrong one to watch over her. Brienne doesn’t believe that’s what he’s doing, but that’s exactly what he’s been doing. Brienne draws her sword on the Hound, and the two engage in quite the fight. Brienne brings the Hound to his knees, but she doesn’t want to kill him. The Hound is no knight, so he fights a little dirty. He grabs her sword, and butts it against her, bringing her down. She fights back like a girl, hitting him between the legs. The two begin brawling, its awful and vicious. Brienne manages to throw the Hound down the hill. She calls for Arya, but she cannot find her. Arya has disappeared, she slipped away as Podrick watched Brienne. Arya looks below where the Hound has fallen. She climbs down to him. He’s bloody and broken. He tells her that the big bitch saved her, but she tells him that she doesn’t need saving. The Hound knows that he is finally done. He cannot believe that he will be killed by a woman. He tells Arya to go on, to find Brienne, that she’ll help her. He doesn’t think Arya will last a day without her. Arya tells him that she’ll last longer than him. He’s ready to die, he tells her to do as she’s promised him that she would to take his name off her list, to kill him. He taunts her that he killed the butcher’s boy, how he begged for mercy, how he bled all over his horse. The Hound tells her about Sansa, how he should have taken her pretty sister and raped her, then he’d have atleast one happy memory. Still Arya does not move. The Hound asks if he has to beg her, asking her to do it. He quivers, begging her to kill him. Arya finally rises, and comes to him. She takes his gold, but not his life. She leaves him there, as he shouts for her to kill him. That has to be the saddest thing ever, and I will miss Rory McCann, he was an excellent Hound.

Tyrion awaits for his own death in his cell. It’s only a matter of time, and he wishes they would hurry up with it. Jaime arrives to spring Tyrion from his cell. Tyrion asks who’s helping him. Varys is, he has more friends than he thought. Jaime tells him to go to the locked door and knock twice and Varys will open it, and get him to safety. Tyrion and Jaime embrace for the last time, and say goodbye. Tyrion thanks him for his life, as he heads away. All Tyrion has to do is go up the stairs, to safety, instead he goes through a trap door and heads to the Hand’s tower. He finds Shae in his father’s bed. The heartbreak is all over Tyrion’s face. Shae grabs a knife from the table nearby, and Tyrion springs on her. He gets the knife away from her and as she slaps at him and tries to hurt him he strangles the life out of her with her own necklace. She really was just a whore, and he loved her. This betrayal cuts deeper than that of his sister’s. Tyrion removes the crossbow from the wall, and pays his father a little visit on the crapper. He asked who released him, but he already knows that it was Jaime. He wishes to speak in his chambers. Although he’s always wished Tyrion’s death, he has always fought for life, and Tywin claims to actually respect that. He tells Tyrion that he would never have let them take his head, he’s a Lannister after all. Tyrion asks about Shae, tells him that he killed her with his own hands. Tywin tells him that it doesn’t matter, that she was a whore. Tyrion raises the bow once more, and still Tywin doesn’t think he’ll kill his father in the privy. Tyrion damns his soul, knowing that Tywin knew that he didn’t poison Joffery. He wants to know why he sentenced him all the same. Tywin wants to go down and talk in his chambers, but Tyrion can’t go back there, Shae’s body is there. Tywin makes the mistake of calling her a whore again, and Tyrion shoots him in the chest. Tywin cannot believe that his son actually did it, as Tyrion loads another bolt. Tywin denounces him, but Tyrion has always been his son. He shoots him one last time, and walks to Varys room. Varys asks what he’s done. He loads Tyrion into a box, one like his former master was kept in, and asks for Tyrion to trust him. The crate is loaded onto a ship, and Varys takes a final look at King’s Landing, before heading aboard the ship himself.  Varys will ride with his crate to distant shores.

Arya rides upon her horse alone. It’s all very Neverending Story Atreyu. She rushes towards a ship being loaded, and speaks to the captain. She wishes to go North to the wall. He tells her that she doesn’t want to go there, there is nothing there. She tells him that she can pay, and she’s willing to work as well. He isn’t going North though, the ship is headed home to Braavos, and he doesn’t want her money. She has something else, the coin from Jaqen H’ghar she speaks the words “Valar Morghulis.” He gives her a cabin, and they set sail. Arya is finally headed to Braavos, and with that we end our season.

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Under the cover of night, the tavern is full and the wenches are have a good old time. But Gilly is not enjoying herself in Moletown. She keeps her head down, as one of the wenches tells her to keep her baby quiet, Gilly warns her to never touch the baby. Gilly shuts her up when she hears the bird calls. She knows the sound all too well, the wench thinks its just owls, but Gilly knows differently. The wildlings have come, and they’re slaughtering the town. Ygritte is among them and she shows no mercy as they skewer people upon their swords. They enter Gilly’s tavern, and Ygritte runs through the lead wench. She looks around for signs of others and sees Gilly hiding with her baby, and signals her to be quiet, but leaves the pair in peace. Bless her savage little heart.

Sam worries over Gilly, blaming himself for her death. They knew the wildings were loose nearby killing villages and he put her in harm way. Grenn is upset over the fact that they’re sitting on their hands while the people around them are slaughtered, that their fellow brothers were slaughtered in Moletown. Tollett points out that the brothers broke the rules, and they shouldn’t have been there. Grenn and Tollett tries to comfort Sam, Gilly is a smart resourceful girl. She survived Crasters, the long march to the wall and a whitewalker, so its possible that she got out or was able to hide herself. Jon knows that with Molestown having fallen they’ll be next. Mance’s army must be close by. Their forces have little numbers, only 102 left, and they’ll be greatly overrun if the rest of the wildings descend upon them. Tollett asks that the last brother alive burn all the rest. If he dies, he doesn’t want to come back.

It’s a hot time in Meereen. Some of the Unsully bath and splash about in the river. Grey Worm emerges from underwater like a sleek sexy alligator and gets an eyeful of Missandei. He can’t take his eyes off her as she washes her clothes nude. She rises uncomfortable and covers herself. He slips away. Missandei tells Daenerys about her encounter. The Dothraki are much less body conscious and celebrate nudity, but Missandei is not Dothraki. Dany doesn’t think that the Unsully are interested in what lies beneath their clothing, but Missandei knows that he was interested. Dany wonders what bits were taken, and which remain for Grey Worm, and Missandei admits she wonders too.  Grey Worm catches up to Missandei alone to apologize for his leering, but she doesn’t accept it. No harm no foul. He speaks to her in the common tongue calling her precious, but she didn’t teach him that word. He’s learned much from another as well. She asks him about before he was Unsully, but he does not remember it. Missandei is sorry for what was done to him, but Grey Worm is not. If he was never cut then he wouldn’t be Unsully, he would not become under Dany’s rule, or become her general, or have met Missandei. He apologizes again for today. Missandei tells him that she is glad that he saw her, and he is too.

Ramsay Snow dresses his little Reek up like the fine lord that he once was. He prepares Theon to go to the Iron Borne. He looks like a Lord, formidable and proud, but he is not that any longer, he is nothing more than Reek. Ramsay sends him into Moat Caitlin alone upon his horse. Theon rides past the fallen bodies to the gates. The guard asks for his name and allows the Trojan horse in. Theon comes face to face with Kelling, who is the commander. He doesn’t believe Theon is  who he says. Theon goes over his pedigree, convincing Kelling. Kelling wonders why he rides with a Bolton army. Theon tells Kelling that Bolton has been good to him, that he took him in and treated him right, and now he is offering the Iron borne the same, knowing that they are fading. Open the gates, and the Boltons will provide them with safe passage. Theon tells him that there is no shame in surrendering, that he watched his own father do the same, to bend his knee to Robert Baratheon. Though Kelling can barely stand he spits blood upon his prince, calling him a whipped dog and alluding that he’s a woman. He proclaims that the Iron Borne will not surrender. Theon begins to crumble when one of Kelling’s men brains him. He asks if they yield they will live, and Theon tells him to raise the white flag. His surrender gives him freedom from life. He’s flayed by the Bolton bastard in the name of tradition. Reek is left shaken and wishes to go home.

The Elders interrogate Baelish about his pedigree. His family came from Braavos long ago, but Littlefinger points out that all of the great families came from somewhere originally. The Elders of the Veil’s families came thousands of years ago, and fought their way to the talk.  Lysa told Littlefinger much about her Elders, but Lord Royce did  not need to hear anything from Lysa, they’ve heard enough of his whoring and Lannister bootlicking. And they were leery when they heard that Littlefinger was smelling around Lysa. Littlefinger points out that he and Lysa have know eachother for a long time that she had invited him, a point none of the Elders like, but are well aware of. Lady Lysa’s affairs are her own business, but her death is theirs. Her suicide shattered them all Littlefinger says. But the Elders do not think she would willingly leave her child that she had fawned over for so long. And his quick marriage to Lysa brings further questions. Littlefinger points out she was always prone to melancholy, that she wasn’t meant for a world as brutal as theirs. The Elders wish to speak with the other witness, his simple neice. Little finger wishes to fetch her, but they’ve already done so. They bring in “Aelaine” and ask what she saw. Sansa turns to Littlefinger and apologizes but says that she has to tell the truth. Aelaine reveals that she is Sansa Stark, and on her reveal Lord Royce becomes enraged over Littlefinger’s lies. But Littlefinger was only protecting her she tells the Elders. She was tortured by Joffery, tormented by Cersei and married off to Tyrion. Littlefinger was her only friend in King’s Landing, and he did everything he could to set her free, to smuggle her away to safety. He brought her to the Eyrie, but they feared the Lannister’s reach. They promise her that her secret is safe, that she is safe. They ask what happened to her aunt. She was a troubled woman. Lysa had loved Baelish from the time she first saw him. She never loved Lord Arryn, only did her family duty. And when she was finally free of him, when she was finally able to marry Littlefinger she did so gleefully, but she always feared he would leave her for another woman. Then she saw Littlefinger kiss Sansa on the cheek, a peck on the cheek nothing more. Littlefinger is her uncle by marriage, and he was always so kind to her. Her aunt turned on her called her a whore, and tried to throw her through the moon door. Littlefinger stopped her and she hit him, stepping towards the doors herself. If she couldn’t have Littlefinger she didn’t want to live, and she threw herself though the doors before they could stop her. Sansa finishes her story in tears, so the little bird learned to lie. The woman Elder goes to her to comfort her, telling her not to blame herself, and Littlefinger is just a smidge impressed.

Lord Royce says that you could tell something was wrong with Lyssa by the way she still fed her child from her teat. The Elders no longer think Littlefinger is to blame for her death, and there will be no retribution for it, not for her, but Littlefinger wants to use her power, and go to war. The Lannisters are not supported by the Lords of the Veil, but by staying out of the fray they have give the Lannisters free reign, and none have been able to stand against them. Rob Stark is dead, so there is none to back the Elders believe. Littlefinger would have them back Robin Arryn. He’s a sickly child, but Littlefinger believes that sickly little boys sometimes become powerful men. He needs to learn to swing a sword, to ride a horse. It is time for him to tour the Veil, to meet the others, to begin his transition to manhood.

Barristan Selmy receives a missive. It’s from the hand of the King, Tywin. He opens it, and cannot believe his eyes. He takes his missive to Jorah, who is busy poring over maps. Jorah asks if he has forgotten a council meeting, he has not. He gives him the missive. It’s a royal pardon signed by Robert Baratheon. Jorah admits that he spied on her. He asks who gave it to him, but Barristan tells him it doesn’t matter. He hasn’t told Daenerys yet, he wanted to tell Jorah first. Jorah asks to speak with Dany in private, but Barristan will never allow him to be with Dany in private again.

Jorah approaches Daenerys throne room. Barristan stands on one side of her, and Missandei on the other. She asks why the Usurper pardoned him. He asks for a private audience, but she refuses wanting her question answered. He knows that Tywin sent the pardon to divide them. If they are divided then they will not be a threat to the Lannisters. She asks if it was forged. It was not. Jorah admits that he sends letters to Varys, the Spymaster of King’s Landing. She asks for the content of the letters, it was information. He gave him Viserys intentions, his selling of Daenerys, her becoming Drogo’s bride. He also told him when Viserys died. She asks if he told them she was carrying Drogo’s child. He did. The wine merchant that tried to kill her did so because of his information. Jorah had stopped her from drinking his wine. She points out that he knew it was poisoned. He betrayed her. Jorah asked for her forgiveness. He sold her secrets to the man who killed her father, and stole her brother’s throne and he wants forgivness. The Khalessi is not feeling forgiving. Jorah protected her, he loved her. She scoffs at his love, and if he were anyone else she would have him executed, but she doesn’t wish him dead or alive in her city. She gives him until nightfall to collect his things and leave to return to his masters in King’s Landing. If he is found after that time she will have him beheaded and his head tossed into Slaver’s bay. Jorah goes as she asks.

The Bolton men meet on the top of a crest. Ramsay gives his father the flag of Moat Caitlin. It is theirs. Roose asks his bastard to walk with him. There is no word of the younger Starks, they’re likely dead. Most of the Iron Borne are fleeing now. Roose asks him what he sees. Ramsay sees nothingness, but its not nothing, it’s the North Roose tells him and he is the Warden thanks to his son. Roose asks for his name, and Ramsay gives it to him, but again he is wrong. Roose has legitimized his bastard. Ramsay is no longer a Snow, but a Bolton. Ramsay falls to his knees honored by his gesture. He will hold to his name and his tradition, he vows to be worth of his father. Ramsay returns to his men, with a gleam in his crazy eyes. He and Reek can return home now, and have that bath he loves so much.

Littlefinger goes to visit Sansa in her chambers. He remembers when he first saw her, when she came to the castle, but she is a child no longer, his voice slipping into a low gravely growl. He asks why she chose to help him. She is sure that they would have executed him otherwise, and is unsure what they would have done with her. She bet on the man she knew rather than the strangers she doesn’t. Littlefinger doesn’t think that she knows him, but she knows what he wants. He can’t deny her claims as his voice hits Batman lows.

Arya thought she would be happy to hear that Joffery was dead, but it doesn’t. The hound doesn’t think anything makes her happy. Plenty of things make her happy, but the Hound sees that she’s only unhappy because she didn’t get to kill Joffery herself. Although the Hound thought that Joffery should be killed he doesn’t like the fact it was done by way of poison calling it a woman’s weapon. Arya finds his thinking ludicrous, saying that he will never be a great killer with such prejudice. She’d have killed Joffery with a chicken bone if she had the chance. The Hound laughs, he would have paid to see that. She notices his fussing with his armor. He should have let her burn his wound. He calls it a fleabite, but his fleabite is slowing him down. They don’t have to walk much further though. She wonders if her aunt will pay for her, and he knows that she will. The gate guard asks for his name. He reveals it, and tells him that he has Arya Stark, Lady Lysa’s niece. He offers his condolences. Lady Lysa died three days ago. The Hound is shocked by the news, and Arya finds it hilarious. They came all that way for nothing.

Robin is afraid to leave the Eyrie, his mother said it was dangerous outside. Littlefinger tells him it is just as dangerous inside. People die in their sleep, during meals, even squatting over their chamber pots. Death is all around, everyone dies sooner or later, not to worry about his death, but to worry about his life, to take charge of it. Sansa arrives, and Littlefinger takes in her sight greedily. She’s transformed from frail mouse to vixen.

Tyrion prepares for his upcoming trial by combat, deciding a man’s guilt or innocence by the Gods as two men hack eachother to pieces says something about the Gods. It will happen soon. Tyrion wonders what chance Oberyn has. Having a nickname like the Red Viper has to be a good thing he reasons. Jamie has never seen him fight. Tyrion laments that he’s going to die, they’re both going to die. But Jamie knows that Oberyn is confident. Tyrion asks how he will die, likely beheading, it seems so ordinary. He ponders over the familiar killings and what they’re called. Every type of killing have its own word. Jamie points out cousin killing doesn’t. Tyrion congratulates his discovery. He asks if he remembers cousin Orsen. He does, the wet nurse dropped him on his head and left him simple. The simple boy use to sit in the garden all day crushing beetles with rocks. Gthunk, gthunk. Tyrion laughs, nothing made him happier. Jamie would have thought he would have felt for the boy, but the teasing made Tyrion feel like everyone else. Jamie  drifted away, he had other interest. Tryion stayed with Orsen. He was curious, he wanted to know what he got out of it. He asked him, but he only said that he smashed them. Tyrion was undeterred he went to Mace Valleric’s library, Jamie wrinkles his nose, Valleric tried to touch him once. Much has been written about great men, but little about Morons. It wasn’t helpful so he went back to observe Orsen. He wasn’t mindless, he had his reasons.  Tyripon became obsessed with knowing, thinking about him all the time, thinking about his cousin smashing of beetles, hearing the gthunk gthunk no matter what he was doing. He thought it was awful that beetle deaths for no reason. Jamie points out that men, women and children die everyday for no reason, who cares about the beetles. It filled Tyrion with dread. How many were smashed and dried out, and returned to the dirt. He woke up crying for the them. He tried to stop Orsen once, but he was no match. Orsen smashed everyday until a mule kicked him in the chest and killed him. Tyrion puts down a roly-poly. He asks Jamie what he thinks, what its all about, but he doesn’t know. The bells chime, his hour is upon him. Jamie wishes him luck.

Tyrion is lead in shackles to watch the battle. Much of King’s Landing has been gathered. Oberyn is dressed in very light armour, but he likes to move around. Tyrion remarks that he shouldn’t be drinking, that both of their lives are on the line, but Oberyn always drinks before battle. The Mountain arrives, and Ellaria is fearful. He is the biggest man she has ever seen. But Oberyn knows that size doesn’t matter when you’re opponent is flat on his back, one thing that Tyrion is thankful for. The battle is set to begin. Jamie sneaks a look at Cersei, who looks away. Tywin hurries the Maester’s speech. Ellaria asks that Oberyn does not leave her alone in this world, and he says never. Oberyn shows his prowess. He asks the Mountain if he knows who he is. The Mountain thinks him only a dead man. Oberyn tells him who he is, and that the Mountain raped and killed his sister, and her children. He wants his confession. Oberyn shows how much faster he is than the Mountain, but his brute strength breaks the Viper’s spear. He’s not done yet though, even though the Mountain tosses him about. Oberyn lands devastating blows to him, and gets his opponent down. He won’t kill him though. He wants to hear who gave the order to kill Elia. Oberyn’s need for revenge gives the Mountain the chance to knock him down. The Mountain admits that he raped her, and he smashed her head, demonstrating it on Oberyn as Ellaria’s screams piece the air. He smashes the Viper’s head like a ripe melon, before collapsing himself. Goodbye Oberyn, your exhilarating reckless spirit will be missed. Cersei is pleased, Jamie is disgusted, and Tyrion is shocked. Tywin rises. The God’s will is known. In the name of Tommen Baratheon, he sentences Tyrion to death.

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 Jamie made a deal for Tyrion, but he threw it all away. Tyrion refuses to die for a crime he did not commit. Hearing Shae spilling her lies was too much, he fell in love with a whore, and feels stupid for thinking that she fell in love with him too. Tyrion admits that Jamie’s deal was everything that his father could have dreamt up, and it felt good to take that all again. Jamie though, is untouchable, he’s the golden child. Tyrion isn’t ready to give up just yet though, he survived one trial without Jamie’s help, and he may have to survive another. Jamie has been training, and yet he cannot do this. Jamie hopes that Bronn will be Tyrion’s champion again, and that he will win. Tyrion wonders who will be Cersei’s champion, and it isn’t who he would hope.

We get our first look at the new Mountain, tearing apart men. He’s in good form. He asks who he will be fighting, but it won’t matter.

The Hound and Arya sit on the edge of some trees. There’s a fire, and they know it could be food or soldiers. They go to check on the situation, and find a man down. He shouldn’t be out, but there isn’t anywhere to go into. The Hound inspects his wound, its not one that will get better. The hound asks if he’s had enough, and he has, but he goes on because of habit he tells Arya. Noting isn’t better or worse than anything, she tells him, nothing is just nothing. He asks who she is, and Arya tells him the truth, even the Hound is truthful that he is the captor looking for a fair exchange. The North is known for their fairness, for their balance, but there is no longer any of that. The Hound gives the dying man a drink, and plunges his sword into him. The man looks grateful for the deed done before dying. The Hound explains that’s where the heart is, and a man jumps out on the Hound. He tells him that the king is dead and that there is a price on his head. The Hound mocks the stupidity of the man, and Arya recognizes him. He once threatened her. The Hound asks her if he’s on her list, he isn’t only because she doesn’t  know his name. He gives it at the Hounds behest, and Arya stabs him through the heart with needle. She’s a fast learner.

Jon returns home, but he doesn’t get a warm welcome, nor does Ghost. Mance’s army is closing in on Craster’s Keep, they will reach the wall by the next full moon. Jon suggests that they plug up the gate, but he’s told that it’s foolish. Jon reasons that the tunnel will not stand against the Giants, but he is shot down. Jon is a steward, not a builder, so a builder is asked. Jon is given night duties until the next moon.

Bronn comes to visit Tyrion. He cannot fight for Tyrion, because he’s set to be wed. He’s wedding a dim witted girl, who isn’t even first in line to inherit. Bronn has come for a deal. Tyrion once offered him double to betray anyone. Tyrion may be lucky enough to inherit the North through Sansa, but that’s a big leap from his current position. Bronn doesn’t want to fight the Mountain, this wedding is a much better offer. He asks Tyrion why he should risk it. He is Tyrion’s friend, but there isn’t reason to risk it. The wheels turn in Tyrion’s head as Bronn says that he is sorry. They had some good days together, and both hope to see eachother again.

Daenerys gets a surprise visit from Daario. He’s snuck in, and though Dany tells him of her displeasure in his sneaking, she really isn’t. She asks him what he wishes. His talents are in deception and women, and he’s bored. He doesn’t wish to stay in Mereen and patrol the streets anymore, but he will if she orders it. He wants to kill her enemies he says, and she gives him permission to do what he does best, and to strip. He slowly strips down, and momma likes what she sees.

Melisandre sits in the bath when the Queen comes in to see her. She asks her for a vial, and Melisandre tells the Queen that the last time that she looked at the flames the one true Lord said to her to enjoy her bath, have a long one because it would be her last for a long time. Ba bum bum, she’s not really all too good at jokes. In truth, she tells the Queen that most of the potions that she has on her shelf allow her to make those think that they’re seeing the Lord’s power in action. She asks if Melisandre used the lust potion on Stannis, she didn’t need to. Men crave what they do not have. The Queen is grateful that she has Stannis, and that they have Melisandre. She tells her that she doesn’t want the princess Shireen to accompany them, but she will. Melisandre tells her to look into the flames, because she does not need her help, but Melisandre needs her. Shireen will be with them when they set sail, the lord needs her.

Jorah runs into Daario very early leaving the Queen’s chamber. He neither approves, nor trusts the sellsword. Jorah reminds her that Daario killed his captains and gave her the heads. She is aware of that, and that is why she is sending Daario and some of the second sons to kill the masters and take back the city with her. Jorah wants her to think with caution. Dany worries not over good or evil, she wishes to have the churches sort it out. She allows the man who asked to bury his father to be her ambassador, and he will issue the warning. They can live in her world, or die beneath the swords.

The Hound tries to tend to his wounds, but he’s doing it all wrong. Arya tries to help him, but he freaks out when she tries to cauterize the wound. He wishes she would just be quiet, because of her there’s a price on his head. No reward is worth as much trouble, he wishes he had never laid eyes on her. He points out that her brother gave her Needle, but his brother gave him the burn that mars his face. He opens up to her that the Mountain threw him into the fire over a toy. The worse thing was that his brother did it to him, and his father protected him. Arya asks to atleast warch out the wound and sew it up.

Brianne and Podrick stop at the Inn for the night. It’ll be nice to have a meal that Pod didn’t make. Brianne compliments the man, Hotpie, on his pie, and he has a seat and begins to her horror blathering one. He doesn’t shut up. He asks if Brianne is a night, but she tells him that she isn’t. To get him to stop talking, she finally asks if he’s seen Sansa. He wraps up the conversation too quickly, calling them traitors. When they leave, Pod scrunches up his face. He doesn’t think that they should be so bold as to announce that they’re looking for Sansa. Hotpie sneaks out of the tavern. He admits that he didn’t ever see Sansa, but he knew Arya. He tells her about his time with Arya, and how he last saw Arya with the Hound. He gives her a direwolf cookie for Sansa. Brianne tries to think of where the Hound would take Arya with most of her family dead. Pod thinks that they’re best bet will be the Eyrie. Podrick isn’t sure, but it’s his best guest.

Tyrion sits in darkness until the Viper comes to visit him. Tyrion thought that he’d be back at the brothel at his hour. The place is full of filth, but not the kind that he likes. Oberyn  tells him that he spoke to Cersei about her daughter. She was trying to sway him against Tyrion. Cersei has wanted his death for a long time, and now Tyrion has all but put it on a platter for her. Oberyn  admits that they met before. He hated everyone at Casterly Rock, but the thing that disappointed him the most was Tyrion. Cersei promised to show him to them. Finally she took them to see baby Tyrion. He wasn’t the monster that they made him out to be, but even at that age Cersei hated him. Only Jamie stopped her cruelty. Tyrion tearfully admits that sooner or later Cersei gets what she wants. But what about Oberyn  wants? He’s come to the wrong place Tyrion believes. But he couldn’t be more wrong. Everyone Oberyn  wishes to kill is here, and he will start with the Mountain. He raped and killed his sister, and he will die for it. Oberyn will be his champion.

Sansa walks out of the dark halls into the courtyard. It’s full of snow. Robin spies her building in the snow. She’s made her home she thinks, she isn’t sure. Robin has never been outside of the keep. He has many questions about life outside of the Veil. He thinks that when they get married they can throw bad people from the moon door. He wishes to have a moon door put into her Winterfell. She humors him, but he ruins her snow sculpture. He throws a fit, and begins smashing everything. She slaps him and runs off. Balish sees it all, and Sansa thinks that she should not have done that. She shouldn’t have, Balish admits, his mother should have. He tells her that sometimes to make a better home, one needs to tear down the old one. She asks why he killed Joffery. He loved her mother Catelyn very much, reasons that if things were different that he would have been her father. He kisses her. Aunt Lysa sees it all, she asks to see Sansa. Lysa sits above the moon door pondering it, and those who fall it. Lysa confronts Sansa, and she apologizes for slapping Robin. Lysa could care less about her child, she tries to throw Sansa though the moon door. Balish stops her, coos at her to release Sansa. She throws the girl aside. He tells Lysa that he has only loved one woman, one his entire life, she smiles at him. He loved her sister, and he throws her through the moon door.

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It’s back. Tonight kicks off season four of Game of Thrones. So bring on the dragons!

Ice sits in the hands of Tywin, who hands it over the Valarian steel to a blacksmith who melts it down and makes a pair of twin swords out of it. He throws a wolf pelt on the fire and it smolders. Just how much further can the Starks fall?

Jaime looks over the sword, and is surprised that the Valarian sword looks fresh forged. Tywin tells him that it was made from an old sword, that is not longer needed, one of two. Jaime has to work on his swordsmanship with his left hand now that his right is gone. Jaime is confident that the will still be better than all the others. Tywin wants him to return to Casterly Rock, but Jaime does not want to break yet another oath. He doesn’t want Casterly Rock, a wife, children. His father lets him keep his post and the sword, both bitterly and reluctantly.

Tyrion watches the progression of villagers, waiting for the prince of Dorn. Bronn asks why they sent him. There is bad blood between the families, so they sent Tyrion. The group finally arrives, but the Prince is not among the sigil’s flying. They tell him that the prince’s health keeps him from attending, they send Prince Oberyn instead. He arrived before dawn, and Tyrion escorts the rest, as they give him little notice. With his job done less than done they set out to find the lusty Prince Oberyn.

Prince Oberyn is in a whore house. The girl he chooses is pale, his companion says, but she’s bored by the timid nature of the girl. He moves onto the next girl, who is not timid, but also very flexible. The prince’s companion, possibly bastard sister, likes the girl very much, and the prince tells Littlefinger’s man to strip down, he wants to have some randy fun with him as well. Oberyn grabs the young man, but some singing interrupts his game, they’re Lannisters. He heads into another room, and his companion tries to get him to go back to his room. They take an interest in his companion, thinking her a whore, and tell the proprietor to give him some oil and a goat, which would suit him better. Oberyn is looking for a fight though, and stabs one of them through the hand, the other Lannister hesitates to draw his sword with his cousin pinned. Tyrion comes and breaks up the little party. Oberyn kisses his paramour Ellaria, and Oberyn is ready to have some fun, but Tyrion has to get down to business. The two head out alone. Oberyn knows that Joffery feels insulted by the second son coming instead of the first. Tyrion asks what he is really doing at Kings Landing. He’s here the wedding, of course, but also for more. Elia was his sister, and she was wed Ragar Targaryen. She bore him children, which she loved dearly, and they were all slaughtered by the Lannister during the war. He’s heard rumors that the Mountain raped and killed his sister, which would have been on orders for Tywin. He tells Tyrion to tell his father he is there.

Daenerys watches her dragons, Drogon staying near her letting her cares him, as the other two wrestle in the air over a carcass. They’ve grown much larger, and most unpredictable, snapping at even her when she tries to shush the squabbling over the meet. Jorah tells her that they will never be claimed not even by their mother. Dany comes to look over her unsully and finds Daario Naharis and Grey Worm missing. She’s told that they’re off gambling, and she sets off to find them. They’re gambling to see who gets to ride by her side, but she tells them that they get to ride with the rear guard because they kept her waiting, and whoever drops their sword last gets to find a new queen. The men quickly drop their swords. Daario has a keen interest in Daenerys. There’s a new Daario in town, and so far, I’m not so impressed. Ed Skrein had this charming, alluring look about him, that Michiel Huisman just doesn’t convey.

Shae tries to get Sansa to eat, but she refuses. She continues to mother hen her to no avail. Tyrion asks for a moment alone with his wife, worried about her. Shae hesitates leaving, reiterating that she needs to eat, jealous of their closeness. Tyrion tells her that he cannot let her starve, that he’s sworn to protect her. He asks her how he can help her. Sansa is haunted by the stories of what happened to her family at the Red Wedding. Tyrion is truly sorry for what happened to her family. She asks to go visit the gods. She wishes not to pray, but for silence.

Tyrion returns to his room, to find Shae in his bed. She tells him that she wants him, but he tells her that it is not safe. His father and nephew want to murder him, his wife is unhappy, Oberyn wants to murder everyone, Shae just wants a few minutes, but Tyrion still says no. Shae is jealous, asking if he loves his child bride, but he hardly knows her. She asks him if he wants her to stay, but he’s not going to make her any promises he can’t keep. A girl sees Shae leave.

Jaime gets fitted with a new hand. Cersei spent days with the goldsmith getting it right. Jaime was hoping for practicality, Cersei for elegance. Cersei thanks the goldsmith, and Jaime finds their closeness odd. He asks if he let him touch her, and she tell him that the man smells like a dead cat. Jaime isn’t sure he knows what a dead cat smells like, but he has noticed that Cersei is drinking more. She’s had a hell of a time as of late, and her son is planning on marrying a girl she does not approve of, and she’s to marry a pillow biter. Cersei is upset that Jaime left her alone, not taking into account the fact that he was kidnapped and it was completely involuntary. He murdered people, did much to get back to her, and she tells him that he took too long. The girl from the hallway comes to see Cersei.

Ygritte prepares more arrows. Tormund Giantsbane questions her, tells her that if Jon is still walking its because she let him go. Styr comes with his men, and a warg. They took a detour, and came from a different direction. Styr notices that they lost their crow, but Tormund is not answering to him he says. He asks if Ygritte is his, but she’s not any ones, and her arrows intend to keep her that way. Styr keeps talking about weight, like an over obsessed trainer. He throws some crow on the fire, the cannibal is hungry.

Jon reacts to the news of the Red Wedding, tells Sam how he was jealous of Rob his entire life. The way his father looked at him, and how he was better than him in everything. He wanted to hate Rob, but he couldn’t. Sam can relate but about Jon. It’s time to face the music. Jon goes before the council, they ask him about murdering Quorin. Jon tells him that the half-hand knew this was their only chance. Jon lays all of his sins on the table, including his sleeping with Ygritte. Jon doesn’t want to debate about laws broken, because Mance Rayder is gathering men together, to bring down the wall. Jon tells them of his plans, and asks if they intend to execute him, or if he’s free to go. He’s still a brother, he isn’t feree, but for now he gets to keep his head. The commander doesn’t trust the bastard, but the Maester trusts his words.

Margery Tyrell’s grandmother, Olenna, does not like the jewelry that her grandaughter is presented, and she throws it into the garden. She sends out the handmaidens to find something more suitable. She wants Margery to make an entrance, and dazzle. Brianne asks to speak with Margery, and alone she tells her what she saw the day Renly Bartheon died, she saw Stannis’ shadow kill him. She wishes to avenge him, but Margery is quick to point that Jofffery is their king now.

Jaime looks over the plans for the wedding, and Jofffery continues to be a petulant child. He thinks that the people of the city are thankful to him, that he is the one that saved the city. Joffery looks over a book of deeds, mocking the men of it. He comes to Jaime’s pages, and they’re all but blank. Someone forgot to write his deeds he says. Joffery mocks, asking how he can protect him with one hand.

Dany asks her handmaiden about their next city,  Meereen, trying to get a feel for it. Daario comes to her,

with a matter of strategy, and the girl takes her leave. Dany asks about the matter, and Daario presents her with a rose. He tells her that she needs to know the lay of the land, and brings forth more flowers, he presents her with a trio of flowers, and his gamble pays off just a little. Let’s face facts though, the girl has a huge army, and a trio of freaking dragons, the botany surrounding the land is the last thing people are going to ask about when they see her coming. Her men come to a halt, and Dany goes to see what has stopped them. She finds a girl strung up. Jorah tells her that at every mile marker from here to Meereen they will be there, over 100 more slave markers, and Dany plans to look at everyone of them, letting their deaths incite her. She tells him to have the girl’s collar removed and bury her.

Brianne urges Jaime to keep up his word to Catherine, and return the Starks, but there’s a problem. Arya is gone, likely dead and Sansa is now his sister in law. Plus, he’s not sure there is a safer place for her than King’s Landing. He wonders if Brianne is a Lannister, as all the Lannisters since he’s returned are colossal pains in his ass. Sansa hears noises in the forest, and thinks that she’s being followed. She is, by the man she saved on Joffery’s name day. He gives her a beautiful necklace, but she cannot take it. He has nothing else to give her, only the single necklace. He urges her to take it and wear it, and let his name have one last moment in the sun. She tells him she will war it with pride.

Arya and the Hound ride. Arya wants a horse of her own, but the Hound cannot let the only thing of value run away. There’s no place she can go, she tells him, and asks if he took anything when he left. He didn’t take anything when he left the castle, he’s no thief. He has an odd code, one where he’ll kill a boy on orders but one none the less. He plans to sell her to her aunt, and give her a pony from his proceeds. The Hound and Ayra see some men that she recognizes. The man that took Needle is there, Polliver and Ayra plans to get Needle back. Arya runs down to the tavern before the Hound can really stop her, and they go inside. A poor girl is being passed around, against her protests, and Polliver recognizes the Hound. They make a little small talk, he talks all about Mountain. He’s not a well liked subject. His eyes fall onto Arya, but he doesn’t recognize her. He asks the Hound to come along, to rape and pillage along the road to Kings Landing. Riding with the Kings colors they can do whatever they please, but the Hound lets his distaste show. The Hound orders a chicken, but he has no coin, and if he doesn’t wish to be one of the Kings men, Polliver tells him that he has to pay. Polliver is willing to cut a deal though, and offers him chickens for the girl. The Hound is tired of Polliver’s cunt mouth and tells him that if he continues to talk he’s going to have to eat every chicken in the room. Polliver makes the mistake of taking on the Hound, and the Hound mows through his men. The Hound goes down for but a moment, but he doesn’t stay down for long. He kills them one by one, but it’s a close call with one. The Hound uses his brute strength and determination to kill one, and Arya springs into action. She stabs one of them, before going after Polliver, and she repeats the words he said to her before she slides Needle into him. Arya gets the pony she wanted, and she and the Hound ride off.

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