"Archer Vice: The Rules of Extraction" S5E8 Recap

Archer asks Cyril and Ray how much longer they're going to be mad at him and they say it will be for the rest of their lives, which won't be long since they'll be dead soon. They think they're headed to the prison but then the guard tells them that they won't be going there - they'll be killing them instead. The driver swerves to avoid hitting a cow in the road and the car ends up flipping over repeatedly downhill. When it finally lands in the jungle, a tree also falls on top of it. Ray gets to the keys and begins unlocking them.

Mallory wants Lana to find Archer but she's content to wait for him to call in. Mallory gets emotional over everything in her life falling apart. Lana begins to believe the sincerity of Mallory's emotional distress. Pam just wants more cocaine and Chirlene is a hot mess like always.

Archer wants to leave a yet-again paralysed Ray and the guards behind and Cyril tries to hold him at gun point but surrenders it after Archer and Ray laugh at him. They build a raft and begin heading down the river with everyone on it. Archer is cranky because he's afraid of crocodiles. They talk through the fact that if they encounter any un-contacted Native Indians, they should not try to barter with their M-16. They're frightened when they see a crocodile attack a hat that Ray made and threw into the river. More crocodiles attack the raft and tear apart the guards. Archer tosses a can of gasoline towards the end and shoots it, intending to explode them but it merely begins leaking and the crocodiles get back in the water.

Lana proposes that they do something nice for Mallory since she's going through a hard time right now.  Chirlene doesn't understand what Lana is saying and Pam says it's a good idea since it reminded her of her father repeatedly crying. Pam says she is always cheered up by cock and Lana says that it could work. She sets up a spa day for Mallory and when they enter a room, Pam and Chirlene are in costume and prepared to give her a massage. Both they and the men on the raft begin to realise that they don't know who in the group bought the cocaine.

Back on the raft, Ray lights a cigarette and when he tosses his match, half the raft catches on fire. Archer refuses to do anything until Ray apologises, after which he pours gasoline on all of them to repel the crocodiles. They swim to the shore, though Ray is simply carried on the shoulders of Archer. After reaching shore, Archer insists on holding the gun and he also puts Ray back on his shoulders. Talk about an over-achiever.

The womyn tuck Mallory into bed and they being to realise that the men are probably not okay.

In the jungle, Ray says that he resents the fact that Archer assumes that everything's going to be okay and that things will work out. Archer says that they normally do and it's then that they stumble across a plane being loaded with cocaine by some narcos. Archer sneaks up on a guard and has Ray take the man's gun. They threaten to shoot him when they get near the other men but they simply shoot their team member dead. When he drops, we see that Archer now has the stick he had been telling Cyril to use. Cyril opens fire on the men and Archer ends up with a cheek injury. They chain up the other men and learn that the first casualty was the pilot. This is bad since Ray is the only one who knows how to fly and he's paralysed. Archer asks Ray how long it will teach him to fly a plane and Ray retaliates by asking how long it will take him to admit that he dicks around whenever they're in danger just to screw with everybody because of his utter lack of contempt for his own mortality." Archer says, "Well yeah, duh." Ray says that that was all he wanted and then reveals that he is not actually paralysed and jumps off Archer's shoulders. Cyril is furious about the deception but Archer finds it hilarious. As the plane is flying, Cyril panics that they won't be able to land anywhere with all the cocaine on board and Ray says that they will worry about that when they have to, echoing the sentiment Archer had stated earlier.

Archer Vice airs on Mondays on FX at 10PM.