"Archer Vice: On the Carpet" - S5E9 Recap

The team gathers around, with many in various states of disarray, and begin to explain to Mallory how they came to be in that particular state.

Shirlene is topless because she was doing a photo shoot for her album cover. She was only covering it with her rocket pops. Pam suggests that she stick one in her vagina (or bum) and the shoot is delayed when Krieger reveals he hasn't put film in the camera yet.

The men lost the cocaine. Their plane was running low on gas because the flight wasn't prepared to have three passengers on board. They try dumping the guns to lower the weight but then they're forced to land in the field that the plane was originally meant to land in and they're met by armed men who were meant to be making a deal with the Colombians. They were ex-military Americans led by a man named Slater. The cocaine on board is traded for several weapons and are told that Calderone would pay them. Mallory and Archer realise that Calderone refers to Gustavo Calderone is the president of San Marcos. Calderone is barely clinging to power and they realise that they've stumbled backwards into a CIA-backed, anti-Communist, drugs for arms operation. Mallory thinks it's wonderful because it's an opportunity to make some money. Krieger then reveals that he blew up the last of the cocaine in a fit of madness. Mallory declares that they're now in the arms business and that she is dressed up because she just had dinner with Ron. They won't be getting divorced and instead will be going to marriage counselling as well as having an open marriage. Just then, Shirlene gets a call which she announces is from Ron and Mallory knocks her over the head with a bottle. Then Pam's phone rings too, but she doesn't answer.

Archer Vice airs on Mondays on FX at 10PM.