Bad Education S2E4 - "Valentine's Day" Recap

It's Valentine's Day and Alfie's dad drops him off at Abbey Grove. They chat about their plans for a Valentine's dinner and Alfie's dad is under the impression that Alfie is still seeing Rosie. Professor Celia Green is the new deputy headmistress and when Alfie's dad comes into the school and spots her, he reconnects with her as they went to teacher training college together.

Joe is in love with a girl named Allison. Celia and Alfie bump heads over the fact that he doesn't enforce his pupils' wearing the school uniform. Alfie begins trying to get Rosie to agree to come to Valentine's dinner with him at his dad's place. Mitchell tells Alfie that he'll get his sister to be his date for the evening. Chantelle comes in and announces she is pregnant. Alfie tells the staff about this even though he had promised not to tell anyone.

Fraser decides to put on a dating show ("Take Me Out") for the students and Alfie suggests having Allison be on the show to give Joe an opportunity to try to get close to her. Chantelle tells Alfie she plans to name the baby after him. It ends up being a disaster as Joe ends up locked in a porto-potty that falls over but luckily Allison appears to be interested in him. He is about to ask her out but then Celia pulls the plug on the lights. She announces that Chantelle is pregnant in front of everyone. Chantelle is upset that Alfie broke his promise. There is a brief moment where Alfie is believed to be the baby's father (because of the baby name) but Alfie insists that he is not the father and is more like Jean Valjean from Les Mis. He then sings to prove his point, at the suggestion of Stephen. Celia says that she will call the police on Alfie but then Chantelle announces that she is not pregnant and just wanted to make it seem as if someone loved her.

Joe happily tells Alfie Allison has agreed to go on a date with him. Alfie asks Joe to come over and cook a Valentine's meal and he agrees to do so. Mitchell tells Alfie his sister won't be available but his brother's girlfriend can come in her place. At the dinner, Alfie's father tells him he has a date coming and when Alfie answers the door, he finds that it is Celia. When Alfie's father announces that Alfie is dating Rosie and she will be coming to dinner, Alfie pulls Celia into the kitchen and asks her to go along with it.

When the pretend-Rosie arrives, Alfie is horrified to find that the "girlfriend" is an elderly prostitute. He bribes her to leave and sulks through dinner as his father and Celia maintain a cutesy, touchy-feely vibe. Alfie is about to admit his lie about Rosie when the doorbell rings. Rosie is at the door and she tells him she and Alex have broken up. She had hoped that Alfie would cheer her up. After he was there for Chantelle, she felt compelled to be there for him. Alfie says he is willing to tell his father the truth but Rosie says she doesn't mind being his girlfriend for the night.

They head back in and Joe tells them that Alfie's father is showing Celia Alfie's room. They sit awkwardly on the sofa with the sound of the pair having very loud sex. Alfie is horrified to learn that Joe has tweeted about this, so now the entire student body knows that Alfie's father is having sex with the new headmistress. Celia and Alfie's father emerge from the bedroom with messed up clothing and smudged lipstick. Celia says goodnight and Alfie's father meets Rosie.

Bad Education airs on Tuesdays on BBC Three.