American Horror Story Recap: The Seven Wonders

The final American Horror Story of the season opens with a Stevie Nicks music video for her song “Seven Wonders” as all the girls work on mastering their skills for their upcoming tests. All of the girls seem to be excelling, so who’s going to come out on top? My guess,is none of them.  Stevie wishes them all good luck and walks out the door. Four enter the arena, one will leave.

Mytle feed the girls as a sort of last meal. The Supreme’s final job is to appoint her successor, but Fiona skirted many of her duties, including this one. Never in the history of the coven have they ever had to test so many girls, but since Fiona instead tried to murder her successor, the girls get to prove themselves.

They start with Telekinesis, and although the Misty struggles at first, the all pass with flying colors. Next is puppet mastery. Misty makes Queenie slap herself around, and Queenie gets back at her with a little hair pulling. Madison uses Kyle as a toy to not only kiss her, but lick her boots, and Zoe also uses him as a puppet. The next is to astral project, Queenie should have an advantage she just did this last week with Papa Legba. Queenie sees her hell with chicken again and returns quickly. Madison comes back next with a bit part in the Sound of Music. Zoe has a break up loop. The only one to not return is Misty, stuck in grade school dissecting the poor frog she just brought back to life in a unending loop.

Misty doesn’t make it back by sunrise. Cordelia wants to help her, but Myrtle tells her that she has to make it back on her own. I knew the swamp witch wasn’t the supreme. Her time expires and she turns to ashes in Cordelia’s arms.

And then there were three. Cordelia wants a moment of silence, but Madison wants to hurry things along, but even Zoe agrees with her. The next task is Transmutation. The girls play a little game of tag, teleporting all over the place. Cordelia asks for caution, but none of the girls listen, and Zoe ends up skewering herself. Queenie tries to breathe life into Zoe, but cannot. Kyle is a wreck. Cordelia tells Madison to bring Zoe back taunting her, but Madison refuses unless she’s crowned Supreme. Cordelia plans to put Zoe back in the game when she’s back, but that’s not a stipulation Madison will allow. She smashes a fly in her hand, and brings it back, proving she did have the power.

Cordelia wonders how the coven has crumbled so much under her care, and how Madison would be an awful Supreme. Kyle mourns over Zoe. Cordelia sees that it was Madison this whole time and that Fiona saw it. But Myrtle finally sees that it was Cordelia this whole time, and tells her that she needs to perform the seven wonders.

Madison thingks its all a ploy to get her to fisinh the seven wonders, but its more than that. Cordelia lights her candle, makes Queenie dance,  and lifts the piano with no effort. She goes to astral project, I wonder what her hell is. Her mother? She returns home after experiencing trying to get her mothers approval. That was a pretty weak hell. She also passes transmutation. Madison joins the competition. Cordelia divines the location of her object quickly, but Madison at first refuses to do the task. She eventually does, threatening to take down the coven with the media. She goes to pack and leave, but Kyle finds her first and he’s not happy that she let Zoe die. He strangles her, knowing what she condemned Zoe to. She pleads with him, that she did it for them because she loves him, but he tells her that she’s not that good of an actress and moves to finish the job, all the while Cordelia is working to revive Zoe. She revives Zoe, but collapses. Kyle looks over Madison’s corpse, and Spaulding is checking out his new toy.

When Cordelia awakens she has her eyes back. She is truly the Supreme. I’m kinda disappointed. She opens up her house to an interview to talk about witches. Well, that’s one way to get new students in her school. Cordelia promises any girl who thinks she’s a witch a place to call home.

The applications come pouring in and Cordelia can’t be happier, but Myrtle tells her that now is the time a hard decision must be made, one to get the council on her side immediately. She has to burn Myrtle at the stake for her crimes against the other witches, the ones she de-eyed with a melon baller. Cordelia doesn’t want to put to death the only woman who has ever been a mother to her, but Myrtle wants her life to be given for something. Cordelia finally agrees.

In high style Myrtle leads the pack in red, the other witches in their usual black. Cordelia sentences her to death, and Myrtle says how proud she is of Cordelia before she gets torched.

Girls line up down the block all in their best black. Cordelia gives Queenie and Zoe a little pep talk, and she tells them that she wants them at her side as counsel in this new age of a more powerful coven. There’s one last thing she needs to do before she opens her doors to the new girls, deal with her mother.

Her mother didn’t actually die. She drugged the Ax Man and made him think that he killed her. She needed to know who the rising Supreme was, and the easiest way to do that was to force Cordelia’s hand with the testing, by making her think she was dead. It worked perfectly, but she never thought it would be Cordelia. She wants Cordelia to kill her to claim her rightful position. Cordelia embraces her powerless mother, but she tells her that she has to do it alone. Cordelia won’t kill her. Fiona lets it all go, and dies in Cordelia’s arms. Fiona awakens in the Ax man’s home as she promised to go, and she is not happy to learn that she died, and will be with him at the country house for all eternity. He’s done playing nice, when she slaps him, he slaps her back. He tries to get her to enjoy the fresh air, but she everything about the house upsets her. She’s stuck there with the Ax Man for all eternity. Papa Legba gets the last laugh.

Cordelia opens the door to a plethora of new girls. The house is once again full, and its not longer just surviving, but now thriving.