Bad Education S3E5 - "The Exam" Recap

Alfie and Grayson are still suffering through their parents dating one another. Grayson expresses his frustration of the situation by playing cruel practical jokes on Alfie.

Fraser finds that Alfie hasn't ever passed his biology GSCE and isn't allowed to teach until he passes it. He has to sit through the lesson taught by Ms. Gulliver and sit through the exam and take it with his pupils. Fraser, meanwhile, is making preparations for the end-of-exam party.

Alfie and Grayson's bickering leads to a parent-teacher conference. Alfie is sympathetic when he sees the Grayson's mother values her pedigree Chihuahua more than her own son. Alfie needs to prove to Ms. Gulliver that he can motivate his class and lead them to success, but decides that his best option is to cheat. He teaches them several methods of doing so, to be used in the exam. His last and final resort method is to "phone a friend," who will call the school and say that his grandmother has been in a terrible accident. For that method, he decides to recruit the help of Mitchell, who is currently locked up.

Meanwhile, Martin Wickers is babysitting his girlfriend's dog. It's quite the chore, as he has to feed the dog using a false breast like when men decide to realistically breastfeed.

Unfortnately for Alfie, the infamous Mr. Hewston will be overseeing the exam. He's strict as can be, and uncovers all the various methods that students were hoping to cheat and disposes of them before they were let inside. Alfie and Grayson then go into the restroom to set off the smoke alarm so Alfie can plant the box of tissues on Hewston's desk that will be used for cheating.

When the exam starts, Hewston undermines all the remaining methods in place to cheat. Alfie's last resort is to go to the bathroom to access the phone to call Mitchell but upon retrieving, it has almost no battery left and then he drops it in the toilet. Mitchell ends up making a call to the school anyway, posing as the hospital. A message is delivered to Alfie in the exam but it's not about his grandmother, it's a prank one saying that despite running several tests, "we still can't find your cock." Joe ends up passing out at the completion of the exam. Once he wakes up, he tells Alfie to distract Mr. Hewston and he'll get rid of the papers. But Joe actually ends up swapping Alfie and Xing's cover-paper.

Alfie tries to tell Xing the truth about what happened, reminding her about how she had said she didn't want to do well on her Biology exam because she wanted her parents to love her for herself and not her grades. But then Xing says that this will definitely happen, as she has just deliberately torpedoed her exam.

Cleo inadvertently kills Martin's girlfriend's dog by throwing the bag it was in onto the bonfire, after thinking it was just Stephen's book bag. Martin had grown sick of the dog's snoring and had put it in Alfie's classroom.

Ms. Gulliver warns everyone to back away from the bonfire, as Fraser has purchased some highly dangerous flairs from a Chinese pirate, as he had believed they would be festive fireworks. But before they go off, Grayson throws the exam booklets onto the fire, having stolen them from Hewston's car. Martin and his girlfriend's relationship ends after she learns what has happened to her dog.

A week later, everyone sits down to take their exams over and Alfie goes down the line and marks each letter in the same column for all the answers.

Bad Education airs on Tuesdays on BBC Three at 10PM.