Game Of Thrones Recap S3E5: First of His Name

Tommen is crowned king. A boy king is never ideal, but he’ll be a much better king than his monster brother was. Cheers ring through the crowd, and Tommen finds Margaery ’s smiling face. Maester Pycell is brought in in chains, and Cersei catches Tommen and Margaery  making googoo eyes at eachother. Cersei has a little word with Margaery , who remarks that Tommen looks like he was born to the throne. Margaery  is wearing mourning clothes, and now even Cersei can admit that Joffery was a nightmare. He did things that shocked her. Tommen is a decent boy, he will be a good king Cersei is sure of it. She tells Margaery  that he will need help if he is to rule well, that a mother is not enough. Margaery  feigns that she is not interested in being Queen, that she would need to speak to her father to arrange it. Another wedding will be planned, one of many most likely.

Daenerys is apprised that Joffery is dead. Now may be the time to strike, but her army may be enough to capture Kings Landing, but not to conquer all of the seven kingdoms. Worse, the cities that she freed no longer remained free after she left them. She dismisses everyone but Jorah. Her liberation isn’t going as planned. Jorah tells her that she could leave all her liberating troubles behind by setting sail. Dany knows that she cannot rule seven kingdoms if she cannot even hold slavers bay. Jorah tells her that she is the mother of dragons. Dany must be more than that, she will not turn her back on slavers bay, she will do what Queens do, rule.

Sansa and Littlefinger head to the Eyrie through the gate. He has her cover her trademark hair so that none recognize her as he tells her the history of the Veil. Know your strengths, and use them wisely he advises. Littlefinger receives a warm welcome. Lysa and her weakling child are excited over Littlefinger’s return. Littlefinger presents Sansa as a gift. Lysa allowed Littlefinger to go back to King’s Landing to retrieve Sansa, but she cannot let anyone know who she is. Sansa and Robin both lost their fathers to the Lannisters. Robin tells her that he wanted to make the little man fly, and Lysa has questions about her marriage to Tyrion. Sansa answers her questions, but doesn’t say a bad word about her husband. Lysa sends Sansa off, and pays Littlefinger. She wants to get married immediately, but he finds excuses to hold off. Lysa has been doing his dirty work for some time, going as far as poisoning her own husband and blaming the Lannisters. He finally agrees to marry her, the woman is batty, even Littlefinger may be over his head. Sansa tries to get some sleep, but she cannot over Lysa’s howls of pleasure.

Tywin and Cersei hash out Margaery  and Tommen’s wedding. It will be as quickly as possible, only taking a short time for mourning, with Cersei and Loras’ soon after. The Lannisters only have the Tyrell’s as allies, and they are quite cash strapped. Their mines dried up long ago. Tywin admits to Cersei that they’ve borrowed heavily from the Iron Bank, and there’s no way around the debt. Tywin knows that Cersi is building a strong case against her brother, he cannot discuss the case. She doesn’t want to either, but questions what Tyrion deserves for lighting the future he’s built on fire.

Arya repeats the names of those she wishes to die. The Hound just wants her to shut up, but she cannot sleep without saying the names. If they came across the Mountain, then they can cross his name off the list. The Hound tells her to go ahead and get it all out, but there’s only one name left one her list, his own, the Hound.

Lysa brings sweets to Sansa. Her mother had quite the sweet tooth as well, but as she talks about her mother getting fat off of sweets, Sansa slows down. Sansa asks how they got the melons and cakes all the way up here, it was all Petyr’s doing. Lysa asks why Petyr would feel responsible for her. Sansa claims that it’s because Littlefinger loved her mother’s family, the Tullys. Lysa’s green eyed jealousy rears its ugly head accusing Sansa of letting Petyr do naughty things to her, even impregnating her, but Sansa is pure. Lysa reveals her hand that once Tyrion is dead she plans to marry Sansa off to her son Robin once she’s free. Poor girl never gets to choose her own husband.

Podrick turns out to be a horrible horseman, slowing down Brienne. She tries to get him to leave, even releasing him from his duties, but he stays by her side.

The hound awakens to find Arya gone. After a small panic, he finds her by the River practicing her water dancing. The Hound thinks its a bunch of shit, but she was taught by the greatest swordsman from Braavosi. The Hound taunts her to take a swing at him, and she stabs him, but it doesn’t penetrate his armour. He makes the point that armor and steel are superior to skill sometimes.

Cersei pays Prince Oberon a visit. She offers to take him through the gardens, and she asks him about his children. He has a daughter, one he named after his sister, and she’s the most difficult one. Cersei finds the Gods have an odd sense of humor. He is one of the greatest fighters and yet he couldn’t save his sisters, she has been a Queen for many years, and is the daughter of the most powerful men, and yet she could not save her son. Cersei hopes her daughter is well, and Oberon tells her that she is, they do no hurt little girls in Dorne. She asks that he bring her a gift for her, a large ship, and he agrees.

Podrick, again shows how he’s an awful squire as he burns a rabbit. He’s never cooked anything for Tyrion before, and didn’t know that he needed to remove the skin first. Brienne goes to remove her armor, and Podrick tries to help, but she turns him down. She asks if he ever did anything a normal squire would, and he admits that the only thing he did was kill an King’s guard to save Tryion’s life. Brienne softens towards Podrick and lets him help her with her armor.

Locke sneaks up on the men at Craster’s. Jojen coughs, he doesn’t hold out much hope, but he urges Bran to go, to not look back. He, Meera and Hordor are just there to guide him, there’s a tree he has to find. He has to make it, it’s not the end for Bran. A flame springs from Jojen’s hand, they’ll know when the end is near. Locke creeps up on the other crows, telling them what he’s seen. He tells them that they have dogs, not a giant direwolf. Has Jon forgotten Ghost? They’’ll move on the keep at sundown. Karl rouses the group, taking Meera as Bran begs them to stop. Karl likes her pretty hair. Jojen offers to help them if they let Meera go. He tells Karl he has the sight, can see things that haven’t happen yet. Karl asks Jojen if he’s seen what he’s going to do to his sisters, what the others are going to, but he hasn’t seen any of that. Jojen tells him that he’s seen they’re death. An alarm is sounded, the Night’s Watch has arrived. The crows cut a pretty path through their former brothers. Locke saves Bran, Meera, Jojen, and Hodor, but it doesn’t look like he’s taking him to Jon. He warns him not to say anything, and Bran slups into Hodor. Jon drops bodies all around him. Locke drops Bran’s body, and “Hodor” rips apart Locke with his hands. The giant is confused by his actions, as Bran tells him to cut him free and free Meera and Jojen. Jon is so close, but Jojen convinces Bran that Jon would not allow him to continue north, that he will not find the three eyed raven. Bran gives the order to free Summer, and continue north. Jon and Karl face off, Karl taunting him all the while. He picks Jon apart. Jon was taught to fight with honor, and there is no honor in Karl, who fight’s dirty. One of Craster’s wives stabs Karl, and when Karl turns on her, Jon finishes him off. He takes the girl out with him. Five brothers dead, ten dead mutineers, one is missing, run deep into the woods. He runs fast like a rabbit, but with no sense of direction. A direwolf takes care of him. Ghost comes in from the woods, and he and Jon reunite. Jon asks the wives to come with them to Castle Black, warning them that worse is coming. They decline, and tell him to burn the place to the ground and all the dead with it. It makes for a lovely bondfire as it burns to the ground.